Needy Needy

My baby is growing up....and as a result he is becoming quite a bit more independent and bit less dependent on me. I have come to the conclusion that Carter has to be one of the easiest babies ever. He has now officially decided he no longer needs me to nurse him to sleep or even rock him to sleep. Being that I love to rock and sing to my boys I still do, but he stays awake and then goes to sleep on his own in his crib. No crying, no fussing...just plays, coos, and then goes to sleep. I am so grateful I didn't have to do the whole "cry it out bit". I was not made for that. Seriously though...this child is an angel (most of the time). I love to check on him after he is asleep to see how cute he looks...I just love the way his little legs are crossed!!

This little event triggered a thought process for me. I have decided I am quite needy. I need to be needed. I love a new baby that is so dependent on me...for food, warmth, comfort, cleanliness....everything. I enjoy it when my husband needs me to make his lunch, do his laundry, or even make him toast. I like to think that Andrew needs me to be there to put him to bed, to help him eat, and on and on. I may not enjoy all this neediness all hours of the day, but it keeps me going. This has been a part of me for a long time. I loved working with the special needs kids in elementary school - I felt needed. As I got older I didn't always pick the cream of the crop boyfriends....I often chose the wayward ones, ones that I could help, ones that needed me. I do think I should keep this in check so that I do not overextend what I can do, but it helps me feel important and secure. 

I am sad that my little boys are growing up and possibly could survive more than two hours without me right there.  Even though they may not always need me in the ways they do know, I know that I still need my mom and I imagine my boys will always need me too. Good thing I will always have Bry. He not only makes me feel like he needs me, but he also makes sure to let me know how much he appreciates me, which makes it all worth it.